Honestly, how many times can I say:
- "Clean your room."
- "No candy for breakfast."
- "Leave me alone."*
- "Shut up."**
- "Set the table."
- "Get all the trash together."
- "Get the dogs water."
- "Put on deodorant."
- "Brush your teeth."
- "Take a shower."
- "Do your homework."
I've tried asking. Even asking politely. That gets the same amount of reaction as just barking orders like a general with the troops. Why bother sugar-coating these requests with extra words and inflections that will just confuse the listenee and delay the completion of the request?
I'm thinking that a tiny tape recorder could help me. At least it would save my voice and maybe some of my sanity. The only problem with that would be keeping track of the recorded messages. I would hate to play "take the garbage out" when I really meant "brush your teeth." Kids are already so confused. Why add fuel to the fire?
I could get a flip-chart. I'm really big on visual aids since I am such a visual person. But, I might get paper cuts from flipping through the pages. Then I would just get even grumpier.
Oooo, I could get one of those scrolling signs! See, like this! It's small and I could just carry it around the house with me! At $39.99 it's a steal! (An added bonus would be to actually use it in my car, providing real-time commentary on the idiot drivers surrounding me!)
Anything would be better than the personal voice system I am using right now. No matter what I say, no one ever hears me nor are my orders followed through!
* I know there are moms who would never use this term. However, I reserve the right to use this when a) I am in the bathroom, b) I am in the shower, c) I am on the phone, d) I am doing taxes, etc.
**I know, I know, "good" moms don't use terms like this. But you tell me how long you can last without shrieking it when you are asked for the fiftieth time in five minutes "can I have some PopTarts?" If you can survive that without telling the child to "shut up" then you are a saint and surely have something better to do with your time than read my blog!