Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Latest Guilty Pleasure

I love the internet. My latest guilty pleasure is only in existence because of it.

I love Mugs in the News! You can see the latest mug shots, what the person was charged with, and then a link to the story about the criminal. Or should I say "alleged" criminal!

I am not that interested in the really bad crimes, but the silly ones. Like the prostitutes who were advertising on Craig's List. One looks like she has the plague and I wonder if she was doing a lot of business looking like that. And they were charging lots of money!

Plus, it's like driving past the porn shop...I'm half hoping and half frightened that I will recognize someone!

Check it out!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Roughing It

My family has made a conscious decision to take a step back from all the technology. We are making strides to become less reliant on technology and closer to living off the grid.

We have (gasp!) decided to let call waiting and caller ID go from our home telephone service!

In an effort to cut costs, I realized that we really don't use the land line very much. But because Jim is in the land line business we are keeping it. (And you should keep yours too!) Mostly we pick up the cordless phone and yell, "toll free call!" and then laugh maniacally as we listen to it continue to ring without answering it. That's our own little protest against the telemarketers of the world.

The first few days without caller ID were unnerving. Each time the phone would ring, we would all stop whatever we were doing and stare at one another like deer in the headlights. No one would move. We held our breath. Only our eyes moved as we desperately looked at someone else for direction.

Luckily, we've moved past this stage. We've learned the hollow buzz sound of the pre-recorded phone call and quickly disconnect. We're learning, "thank you, but I am not interested!" with a quick disconnect. (I like to say it in my Romper Room teacher voice, so the caller knows I am really sincere!)

Aaron is quite amusing because when he answers the phone, he yells, "It's a person!" and hands it off. I want to say, "who else would call, but a person?" But we all know about the computer calls.

Even call waiting is not being missed. If a family member calls home and gets a busy signal, a quick text message solves that. We all are in possession of our cell phones at all moments.

Now we need to work on general telephone etiquette. Aaron has been taking his phone into the bathroom. That's taking it just a little too far...

Happy Talking,
Your Favorite Techno Whore

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Quick...right! Smile again!

You think you look goofy sitting at your screen smiling, but I think we all need to smile more.

Don't worry about your teeth...your lips...your wrinkles. Just SMILE! Lots!

At water aerobics there's a woman who reminds me of those 40s movie queens. Bette Davis, mostly. She rarely smiles. I don't know her name or her situation. Once I saw her smile when she thought no one was looking and it was bright and broad and looked so right. When she smiles at me, her lips are pressed together and she looks awkward. I'm guessing she's self-conscious about something. I think she needs to let it go.

I've been on a mission lately to be more positive. This has been part of the Buddha Mom transformation of 2009. At first I consciously made myself smile at people and say "hello." It's now become habit.

I smile at everyone. I say "hello" and "thank you" and "Merry Christmas." I feel lighter on my feet. Happier on my skin. And I think I'm spreading good cheer everywhere I go.

Or people think I'm completely loony and are only responding out of fear!

Actually, I end up in lots of conversations because of this. People want to chat in the check out lines. They want to share something while we wait in the doctor's waiting room. There are stories to be heard everywhere I go. And I want to hear them all.

Go forth and smile! Be friendly!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Lessons Learned at the Gym

Just a few of my observations from the past couple of weeks. I have faithfully been going to water aerobics classes! I am a graceful ballerina in the water and quite the athlete! Please, stop laughing!

Thongs...why bother? I've seen girls whip them on and wonder what thongs really do. I think you should just go commando and really go crazy!

Tankinis...bad news while working out. The top goes one way, the bottoms go the other. Body parts are falling out. Plus, it's hard to do an arm and leg exercise at the same time when you're constantly trying to hold everything in place.

Ill-fitting swimsuit...also bad news. See above.

Strapless swimsuit...doubly bad news. Today I saw a boob in the pool. I don't want to see boobs. I do not wear a strapless swimsuit.

I have a new exercise buddy. Nancy introduced herself on Monday and said she was going to use me as inspiration. I'm still not sure how to take that. Am I so pathetic that she is impressed that I am able to move my body at all. Or I am such a graceful ballerina, an aspiring synchronized swimmer, that she wants to be like me?

But being an inspiration is hard! I had to make sure I went this morning because I didn't want to let Nancy down! Then when she was late, I was wondering where the hell she was! I felt obligated to work out as hard as I could, pushing myself constantly, in case she was watching. You know, for inspiration. It's tough being a role model!