Proper Parenting

Yesterday's visit to the LifeTime locker room developed into a "healthy living" discussion between several of us. I offered Vitamin E as a way to moisturize the pregnant belly of one woman. Another woman chimed in that cocoa butter was best and you'd better buy it from the health food store because it would be chemical free. It morphed into the dangers of cosmetics and the benefits of jojoba oil, olive oil, and coconut oil.

It further morphed into what we feed our children. Avoiding high fructose corn syrup, plastic bottles, canned goods. Eating "whole" foods.

But just when I start to feel smug that I'm doing things "right" I realize I missed something completely. Damn!

For weeks I have been trying to feed my family "whole" foods. That means nothing processed. Frozen vegetables. No rice a roni. No pop tarts.

Then I spot the store-bought cinnamon rolls on the counter top. One left, of course. And the tub of store-bought cream cheese frosting in the refrigerator because there's never enough frosting on store-bought cinnamon rolls. You have to add more.

And last week I made spaghetti sauce with a jar of store-bought sauce and a can of crushed tomatoes. I can't begin to imagine what's lurking in the store-bought sauce! Chemicals. Ingredients impossible to pronounce. This week I'm attempting the sauce again, but with two cans of crushed tomatoes and my own spices. I bet I get some complaints.

I made tuna casserole...and used canned cream of mushroom soup. Seriously, I have no idea how to make cream of mushroom soup and don't think I want to add it to me cooking repertoire. I mean, it already comes in a can. And Campbells has entire cook books devoted to its use!

Sometimes it gets so confusing. I won't microwave leftovers in plastic containers because of the terrible chemicals that leach into the food. But I will eat a frozen meal that comes in and is microwaved in a plastic container. I'll even eat a Lean Pocket that gets cooked inside a cancer-envelope. I haven't actually heard them called that, but I am waiting for the scientific report saying it's true.

I was so pleased with myself when I got rid of the bottled water. Then I had to get rid of the plastic refillable water bottles because of the BPAs. I replaced them with metal--except only stainless steel is good; aluminum is bad. I have some BPA-free plastic. But I just read a news article on how canned goods contain BPAs also.

Frankly, I'm surprised kids today don't have three heads, dual sex organs, and are drooling uncontrollably. I know as the mom, I'm starting to drool incontrollably because I can't keep up with the do's and don'ts of proper parenting!

Happy Found You Day!

Today is a special holiday my sister Jamie and I celebrate--Found You Day!

It was on this day, six years ago, that I found my seven older siblings (three sisters and four brothers), in-laws, a slew of nieces and nephews, great nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles. Even a grandma for a few years.

After 38 years of not knowing who the hell I was or where I came from, I found these guys!

The first time some of us met in Kansas City, it was like coming home. After so many decades, do you have any idea what it was like to finally look like someone, talk like someone, laugh like someone?! We even talk to our kids the same! These are things those of you who aren't adopted probably take for granted. To me, it was a very special gift.

There's not a lot to say, except that I am truly blessed to have each and every one of these Johnsons in my life. Thank you, God!

Do You Hear What I Hear?!

Ha! You think I'm going to start singing Christmas carols. In March!

Trust me, I am so glad Christmas is many many moons from now. When ITunes plays a Christmas carol, I fast forward that sucker so fast the patridge spins out of the pear tree.

What I am talking about are the voices in your head. The ones in my head give me a running commentary on life as it passes by. For instance, while walking through the grocery store I might look as thought I am intently looking for the frozen peas (we go through TONS of frozen peas because we use them as ice packs for various wounded body parts--we never actually eat frozen peas), but my mind is chattering something like this:

"Get the hell out of my way. Why the heck do you think it's okay to park your cart across the entire aisle as you grab your butter?...Are you really wearing those shoes to the grocery store?...What a cute baby!...Cool tattoo!...Wonder what she had to do to get such a big diamond?...Are my kids getting enough nutrients in their food?...If I was a good mom I would cook everything from scratch from vegetables I grow in my own garden!...What should I plant in the garden this year?...God, summer's coming and I'm still going to look like caca in shorts!...Why am I so short? My brothers are tall!...Hey, I have brothers! And sisters!...I wonder if anyone thinks my hair sucks as much as I do?...Jeanne's hair always looks nice!...Man, I miss Aunt Darlene!...I wish I lived in Omaha!...Omaha steaks!...A steak sounds so good!"

The above passage was just the first two minutes in the store. Because my inner voice never shuts up!

I did manage to silence the critical inner voice a few years ago. Good medication took care of it. That inner voice was a nasty bitch who needed a good slap upside the head. I'm glad she's gone.

But I'm afraid the regular inner voice is here to stay. She's ok, really, but man is she a talker! Never shuts up, that one!

What absolutely fascinates me is that some people do not have the voices in their heads giving them a commentary on life. They live life in blissful silence, never interrupted by inane comments. They simply exist in silence.

This, I cannot grasp. Who can you talk to if not yourself?! (And your pets, of course!)

I was rather comforted the other day when I was discussing visualization with the twins. They told me their coach tells them to do that. I've been telling them to visualize things since they were in middle school. (I've read studies that say visualization actually does make a difference in physical performance. For instance, visualizing yourself batting the ball perfectly actually affects your muscles in a concrete manner.)

When Jermaine told me it was hard to visualize things because the voices in his head were never quiet enough, I was pleased. I'd hate to think I've raised quiet mind people!

What about you? Do you or don't you have voices?!

Your Public Face

I sometimes worry about the public face I wear.

Expecially when shopping with Aaron.

For instance, today I took him to the health club with me. Then we went to WalMart.

As anyone knows, any trip to WalMart has to begin with a visit to Subway. We were eating subs at 10:45am. And getting the subs wasn't an easy task. First, we had to argue over the drink: soda vs. icee. Icees cost more and I am already getting mad at the amount of money I will be spending on a freakin' sub sandwich. Second, we argue over add-ons. Why must every sub sandwich be accompanied by chips and cookies?! I solved the dilemmas by declaring soda the drink of the day and having Aaron get chips with his sub while I got cookies with mine. Both add-ons go to Aaron because all I want is the sub. (By the way, Subway ended up costing $16!)

Shopping at WalMart commences with the first official merchandise request: Can I have a new shirt and pants? No. Can I have cookies? Yes. Can I have pop tarts? No. Can I have some fish? No. Can I have...can I have...can I have.

By the time we check out, I want to rip my hair out. In great big giant handfuls. But I refrain.

Of course, the trip to WalMart was a bust (even though it cost $50!) because I went for a squirt bottle (how else can I squirt the dogs when they bark?!) and they didn't have any. Aaron jokingly suggested getting a bottle of Windex and emptying that. I should have taken his advice!

We head to the dollar store.

Inside the doors, the Can I Have's begin. Endlessly. Every aisle produces another thing Aaron has to have. Bow and arrow. Yoyo. Cookie. Fruit punch. His own squirt bottle.

Now, we have been together nearly one hour. And 54 minutes of that time has been spent arguing over things Aaron must have.

By the time I reach the last aisle of the store, I am ready to scream. I actually do screech a little when he asks for something. Then I notice the woman giving me The Look.

I know she thinks I am the worse mother in the world. After all, how could someone be so short-tempered with Aaron the adorable boy? What kind of mother would deny him anything?

I want to grab her by the lapels and explain, tears falling freely: "I've been to lunch and two stores with him. I cannot take anymore. Please, help me. Put me out of my misery..."

Instead, I put on my sunny mother persona and manage to buy the four items in my basket. The clerk wasn't very friendly. She took my money without even saying the total. Now her, I wanted to grab by the neck and snarl directly into her face, "I'm the customer! I'm shopping with a child! Please, show me some courtesy! Just a little! I...just...need...a...little..."

Reading Menace

Years ago I gave up buying books because I thought they just added clutter to our small house. Plus, I could get books from the library and they are free. The only books I've purchased in years are the new paperback release from Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series and anything new by Jennifer Crusie. I cannot read and re-read these authors enough. (If you've never heard of them, check them out! I cannot recommend their books enough!)

Then I got a Sony Reader for Christmas. Yes, my new device. If you're new to Motherhoot, you might not know that I lust for electronic devices. The newer, the better. New phone, I want it. New Ipod, I want it. (I am counting down the days until our cell phone contract is up so I can switch to the Iphone...which combines my two favorite devices: cell phone and Ipod Touch.)

I have bought more books in the two months I have had it than in the past five years. Maybe even longer! Someone recommends a book, I rush to my ereader account to see if they offer it. If they don't, I check out ebooks.com hoping that they have it. When I find books that aren't available for a reading device, I feel sad and bereft!

Yesterday I just happened by the ereader site to see the new releases. Suddenly, I am interested in these things. Before this I was content to wait until the library called to tell me it was my turn to read the newest release on my favorite authors list.

What did I find? Light and fluffy novels for $1.99 each. Had to have them.

One of the best features of the Sony Reader is the ability to "check out" books from an on-line library. I found the link to my site from my library's website. I recommend looking into yours if you have a reader and don't want to keep buying books.

I've discovered Nevada Barr and her Anna Pigeon series. I am almost done with the second book and cannot wait to place the third book on my list so I can read it. The e-library I use has a wish list and a holds list. This was I can track as many books as I want!

I don't think I would have discovered Anna Pigeon without the on-line library. I also cannot wait to start reading some Michael Connelly either. I like starting a series at book one and working my way through to the current offering. Also Hannah Fluke has caught my eye. Her first novels are waiting patiently on the reader to be read and recipes tested.

Next to my Ipod touch, this device is getting the most use. And some nights I even forgo the Bedazzled quest to read!

One World One Heart Winners!

It was so nice to visit so many blogs over the past few weeks. I believe there were over 1,000 blog participants this year. I'm only sorry I didn't get to visit each and every one of those blogs. The ones I did visit were intriguing and each was unique!

It's time to announce the winners of the three pendants I am giving away this month!

Beth will receive this pendant...




















Debra will receive this one...



















Char will receive this one...

Romance

That day is coming. You know the one. Where the push to be romantic comes at us from every direction. This is a hard one for me. Because I am the most unromantic person and have a hard time buying into romance from anyone else. Yes, even my husband.

Long ago I loved reading Harlequin Romance novels. I was about twelve. Then as I grew older and started dating and falling in love, I came to believe that romance doesn't really exist. At least not in the way it does in those sappy books!

I think this is a reflection of the men I chose to date and fall in love with, more than the actual state of the homosapien romantic male. (My early choices were dismal ones!) But it has stuck with me.

Poor Jim! Early, in our dating days, he tried being romantic. Eventually, the deer-in-the-headlight looks I would give him when he did put an end to that. He toned it down to bringing flowers--which the cats ate. (It's hard to enjoy a dozen roses when they are sitting in the bathtub or kitchen sink because the cats are going to knock over the vase!)

Luckily Jim realizes that romance isn't a big, once or twice a year event, but something that can be done every day. He's great at the little gestures that I can believe in. He cleans the snow off my car and shovels the driveway. He'll clean the bathroom or do laundry. He scrubs the floor (a job he knows I abhor; it's the wet hair that grosses me out). He cleans out the tub drain, even though he rarely showers at home. He gets the oil changed in the van. He brings me chocolate. He takes me to eat guacamole whenever I want it.

The list is endless! Jim knows that a new electronic device will earn him more points than a dozen roses will. (I can use a device!) He gets a kick out of buying me power tools for Christmas or my birthday. The year he got me a drill press was a gold star event!

I guess I am truly lucky that Jim (whom I suspect is a romantic at heart) has adapted so well to my callous ways!

Are you a romantic or not? Do you want the grand romantic gestures? Or are you happy with the little gestures? Let me know!