The Microwave...Part Two

So we went to the store...

Have more frightening words ever been uttered?! Battling the weekend crowds. Looking for the best deal. Agreeing on a microwave.

I was frightened. Seriously, horribly, utterly frightened.

See, early in our marriage Jim and I had a bad shopping experience. We were new home owners in need of a lawn mower. I assumed one just bought a lawn mower. Jim looked upon purchasing a lawn mower as some medieval crusade. The lawn must be conquered by the biggest, the best, the cheapest lawn mower ever.

Five or six hours after we began The Hunt for the Perfect Lawnmower, we were back at the first store getting the first one we looked at. Why? Because no one had a bigger, better, cheaper lawnmower in all of ChiBurbia! (Obviously, I am still having issues with this and will work on finally forgiving Jim for this event.)

Please understand that this is what I was picturing. Another quest, only this time for the Holy Microwave.

I offered to go alone. Whip in and out of WalMart and pick up whatever I could find. Jim says he will go along. He tells me it's to help carry it. I am weak and he knows this, so it wasn't a completely unappreciated offer. I tell him someone from the store will put the microwave into the turbo minivan and he can bring it inside when he gets home from work. Nope, he's going shopping with me!

At dinner the evening before The Microwave Quest is scheduled, Jim says something about the impending shopping trip.

I don't even let him finish speaking before I snarl, "I'm not going to a million stores! Pick one and we're getting the microwave there." (Yes, sometimes I get testy.)

He doesn't really react. Just rolls his eyes (just a little because he knows that drives me nuts) and points out that all of our appliances are purchased at BestBuy because they seem to have the best prices. He agrees that BestBuy will be the place to buy a microwave.

(I've never loved him more.)

Saturday afternoon we go to BestBuy. It's not very busy. Jim goes to look at CDs. (He's really old fashioned and gets his music at the store on CDs rather than on Itunes!) I go to look at netbooks. I have an inkling I want one and want to check them out.

The netbooks are cool. I poke and play. Go to find Jim. He's still flipping through CDs.

I go to look at microwaves. There really isn't a big selection. There's cheap, middle range, and more expensive. Seriously, the cost of microwaves has come down a lot since we last shopped for one. See a few promising ones. Go back to Jim.

Then I make Jim go talk to the cell phone people so I can drool over the Iphones. The cell phone person tells me the Iphone is cool, sure. But Droids are better. Then she shows me some droids. We all agree the Droids are cool.

I say, "Maybe I should just get a basic phone and a netbook." She gets really really excited and asks me why I need a netbook. I tell her, without stuttering, fainting or anything, that I am a writer and want it to write with.

We go back to the netbooks. Play and drool over them. They make us a take it or lose it offer. I pass because I can't really justify a netbook. Sure the laptop battery sucks and lasts about 15 minutes. That limits my away from home writing. I just got the Sony ereader. Why must all of my toys cost so much more than Jim's?!

I drag myself away and we go to the microwave department. Ten minutes later, we have our microwave and are on our way home.

And that's why we decided to go microwave-less, changed our minds, went shopping, and now I need a netbook and an Iphone. Maybe an Ipad...

I'm gonna go eat some cereal. I bought some new boxes this morning...no one's been home to wipe them out.

Photo courtesy of www.ndevil.com

Hat Quest 2010

I need a new hat since I can't be in the sun. Unfortunately, I forget how bad the sun really is for me until Spring is here.

So today was day one of Hat Quest 2010.

Shopping for hats alone is a miserable experience. Seriously, if you don't have someone to manically laugh with you over the absurd hats that are available, it's just not fun. Plus, the cell phone camera ensures that any really bad blunders can be digitally archived. And passed around. Posted on Facebook.

Sadly, a baseball cap isn't enough. I need more protection than that.

All the cute hats have narrow brims. Not enough protection.

Hats with a really wide brim made me look like a tourist. I don't know where...but I'm sure it's some place where tourists are horribly mocked for their choices in hats!

After Hat Quest, I am bring the Caftan Hunt. I need coverage for my entire body.

Such a pretty picture, eh?!

Pet Peeve Friday...Annoying Co-Shoppers

Last week's drawing for the Pet Peeve Friday prize of Avon lipstick samples is Keri Bender Roberts! Keri, keep an eye on the mail...

This week's prize is still undetermined. But please comment and share today's pet peeve! It'll be good...I promise...

***

I just got back from Target and was crowded in the check out line by a middle aged couple (that means they were older than me). The man got so close I couldn't even swipe my card without bumping him.

Seriously, if you're in that big of a hurry to get out of Target, please don't shop there! It doesn't matter day or night, morning or afternoon, weekday or weekend, Target is always the same!

My Target is set up in a rather annoying way though. From the cash register to the end of the counter, where your bagged purchases get piled, is approximately 3-4 feet. The card swipe machine is by the cashier, then there are the empty bag hangers, then the landing pad for the purchases. In order to get things into your cart, you have to keep moving back and forth, while you pay.

So, Target's at fault for poor ergonomics. Whose bright idea was it to set it up like this? Why isn't the card swiper at the end where you can grab your bags and toss them into the cart? I know they probably paid some person lots of money to come up with a workable system. Well, it ain't working!

OK, so that was a little side rant about Target and their apparent stupidity. I've done my best to accept this as part of the price of shopping at Target. Some days are easier than others...

It's the rude people that really bug me! How come the person behind you in any checkout line feels the need to get as close as possible! Well, get their cart close, anyway!

If my groceries are piled to the end of the conveyor belt and I am still piling things up there, there's absolutely no reason you need to have your cart bumping into my hip. Having you bumping me isn't making me work any faster. In fact, it makes me slow down (you know, like an adolescent boy when you tell him to do something he doesn't want to do!).

Getting into my personal space doesn't make me pay faster. It makes me turn to you and try my damnedest to blow up your skull. Like in that movie Scanners. You might think I have a migraine or something, because I have to really screw up my eyes and wrinkle my nose to get the full power of my brain into the act. But I am just trying to have your brain explode.

Now for the people in the aisles actually shopping. Have you ever heard "be polite, stay to the right!" Even preschoolers are taught this. If everyone stays on the aisle to their right, people can pass by with plenty of room to spare.

Unless you let your kid hang off the side. Then that's just an invitation for someone (said child) to get hurt when I wing around you. Have you ever noticed that people with small children just shop slower than the rest of us? I know I did.

I also don't find it amusing when your small child is blocking my way and you stand in the distance begging her to move. While you are working on your diplomacy skills, you are preventing me from completing my least favorite chore. (See the above Scanners reference for an explanation of my expression.) I do not find misbehaving children amusing at all, and their spineless parents even less so. Go take little Johnny's hand and get him out of my way.

Just a little piece of advice. There is no reasoning with a three or four year old. Using a sugary voice as you try to convince them to do something isn't going to work. They need to be shown!

(In case you are thinking that I must believe I am a perfect parent, please don't! I have had kids act like total brats in stores. Hey, Aaron still does it, and he's 11! But, unlike some parents, I have come to realize the not everyone is enamored of my children. Especially when they are misbehaving. No one likes a brat. The brat's parent is liked even less!)

There is a special place in hell for the people who insist on parking their carts diagonally across the aisle. Are you undecided? Lost? Trying to shop with both arms off of shelves on either side of the aisle? Good luck and God speed. If my wing span was something greater than 60 inches, I might try that!

Wow, shopping really set me off today. I guess I'd better stick to PeaPod!

So, tell me about your latest Pet Peeve!