Pet Peeve Friday & Giveaway...Crooks

Last week's drawing for the Pet Peeve Friday prize of Avon's Moisture Therapy Skin Bump Minimizer (full size) is Show Me Mama. AS soon as I get an address I will be mailing this to her! She's a fellow blogger and you can find her here.

This week's prize is a full-size Avon's soft & sensual gelled body oil. Tell your friends! All comments to this blog post are entered for the drawing!

Winner to be announced next Friday!

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Today's pet peeve is crooks. People who are out to rip people off. Yes, we are on the Internet. That doesn't mean we expect to be robbed. Sure, you don't do it with a weapon or a threat. You just do it. Why? I'm guessing because you can.

Shame on you. Shame on you for trying to get something for free. Shame on you for wasting my time. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.

My first official contact with these crooks (I am not counting the endless number of emails I have received over the years asking me to help smuggle all the money out of some foreign country) has been as an Avon lady. Yes, as an Avon lady.

It's well-known throughout the Avon community that these emails are commonplace. I get an email from Avon telling me a customer is interested in contacting me. I do not know at the point that it is a scam, so I get a little excited and compose the nicest email that I can. I really like to use the subject line "Ding! Dong! Avon Calling!" (And not just because "dong" is such a fun word to say!)

Then I get the return email from the crook telling me they have their own shipping company and will send me a mail order...yada yada yada. I always send another response politely pointing out that my website is available for their orders.

This morning I was part of the scam on social networking site and through email. A person from your address book or a friend on Facebook will contact you and explain how they have been victims of a crime in a foreign country.

I knew this was fake the moment it began became the person chatting with me on Facebook had never done so before. Because I was a little bored, I played along and copied the whole thing so I could blog about it! This really did happen this morning and I copied the Facebook chat when we were done!

Margie
Hey Susie!!!!!!
10:45am

Me
Hi Marge! [I'm confused and just a little excited because Margie has never chatted with me before]
10:45am

Margie
How are you doing?

Not too good at the moment...Our trip to UK was messed up [social interaction means you wait for the inevitable "I'm good" before continuing your tale of woe]

Am presently stuck in cardiff,wales with my family as we speak and we need help in getting back home [Margie and I aren't the kind of "friends" who would ask each other for help. Plus, I've heard/read about this scam on yahoo groups. This is when I knew I could have some fun!]
10:46am

Me
oh, how terrible! [Do you hear the sincerity in my reply?]
10:47am

Margie
got mugged last night in cardiff at gun point..cash and ccs were stolen off me by the muggers

Am so worried and scared right now [I don't even know where in the hell cardiff is!]
10:47am

Me
that's awful! what can I do to help?! [Sensing the sincerity?]
10:48am

Margie
You there?
10:48am

Me
i am
10:49am

Margie
the authorities are not being 100% supportive but the good thing is that we still have our passports but don't have enough money to clear the hotel bill here
10:50am

Me
oh dear! what will you do?! [Maybe a little over the top. I never say "oh dear!"]
10:50am

Margie
wondering if you could loan me some $$
10:50am

Me
how would i get it to you?
10:50am

Margie
You can wire the cash to me via western union to my name

Do you know any western union outlet around you?
10:50am

Me
just your name? where to?

I have one nearby.
10:52am

Margie
Marge Xxxxxxxxx
3 The Balcony,
Castle Arcade,Cardiff,
United Kingdom

thats the details you'll need
10:52am

Me
OK, I can leave the house in a few minutes. How will you know it gets there? I wonder how long it takes?!
10:53am

Margie
I can receive it there within minutes right after you have wired the cash to my name
10:53am

Me
are you there?! [I am done playing and am afraid they've gotten scared off! I need more for a blog bit!]
10:53am

Margie
yes

I can receive it there within minutes right after you have wired the cash to my name

you'll have to email me the confirmation details such as MTCN Number
10:55am

Me
where would you like it emailed?
10:55am

Margie
you head

Your Head [If there was any doubt before that this was a scam...]
10:56am

Me
what?

Marge are you alright? [Thought maybe I could suck him in for a little longer!]
10:57am

Margie
fuck you

l know you're kidding me [This person is obviously new at this. Or already knows it will never work. He really should have continued. What if I had been a kindly old woman prepared to save her friend Marge with a MoneyGram?!]

idiot [I might be a lot of things...but I am no idiot! Plus, the nerve of the scammer to get irate at being scammed back! sheesh]
10:57am

Me
Marge! What's wrong! Is everything alright?! [I'm not done playing.]
10:57am

Margie
Are you kidding

If you're serious go and send the money now while l will be here waiting [Watch the grammar, Crooky!]
10:58am

Me
OK, fuck you back you imbecile. Did you really think I was going to fall for this shit?! Don't you have anything better to do than hack Facebook accounts? [Hmmm, I obviously don't have anything better to do than play with crooks...]

I cannot wait to blog about this, you little freak! [Oops, I lost patience!]
10:58am

Margie
fuck u
10:58am

Me
Perfect ending...

That's why I hate crooks. They have no sense of humor.

Yesterday The Hoots Took Over Lou Malnati's

Kelly, Jan and I went to Lou Malnati's for lunch. We needed to iron some things out about our communal blog. And, of course, we laughed. A lot. And, of course, ate a lot. (Have you seen Hyperbole and a Half's artistic rendition of alot?!) Let it be known that I suggested the individual pizzas...

Jamie, my sister, couldn't come to the lunch. Well, she does live in Arkansas and it's a land far far away. Plus, she recently (like on Tuesday!) had surgery (she can tell you for what). Now, if she taped any part of it or perhaps brought home a body part in a jar, I'll be happy to post any of those things!

Several things were decided at the lunch.

One, you cannot command people to be funny in front of the camera. Seriously, why is it so hard for some people to be funny on demand?!



If you keep telling people to be funny--whether in front of the camera or in writing--you get called names. Kelly has named me The Blog Nazi. I am taking this as a positive labelling. If you listen closely, you can hear me doing my best Nazi imitation. Is that tasteless?




We came across some boys and one of them was wearing a suspected piece of dirty clothing. Here "dirty" = sexual. I couldn't care less if his clothes were actually soiled. He's not my kid. I went to the bathroom and tried to read the t-shirt, but his arms were in the way. I tried to get Kelly to go to the bathroom so she could read it. (Again, Kelly refused to pee on demand for me. I'm re-thinking her best friend status!) Instead, she marched right over to the table and demanded to see the t-shirt. She even shook her finger at him! Just like a good, perturbed mother should!

Of course, I got the picture of the shirt. And I asked him if his mother knew he was wearing it. God, I sounded like June Cleaver. Or Carol Brady! I knew this shag wasn't a good idea just for that reason!

We're planning on making this a regular meeting. Of course, we need to map out a different location. Two restaurants in ChiBurbia down (i.e., they don't want us back)...several thousand to go.

Some of you might wonder where the video of me is. I did take one. It was horrific. I look really really bad on camera. So I deleted it. Hey, I'm the who's a Savvy Minx with the tech stuff (that's what Jan told me and I have it in writing!), so I can do whatever I want!

Wouldn't you like to come to a lunch with the Hoots? I'm telling you, we know how to have fun and can deal with the errant youth of America while we're at it!

And I promise to work on my video skills!

Wordless Wednesday

I'd Rather Be a Vampire

Last night I watched The Howling.

When Jim came to bed, I announced that I would never want to be a werewolf because they really are unattractive in their werewolf state. Plus, it really looks like it hurts to turn into a werewolf. Also, I have really really crappy fingernails, so my claws would be inferior and all the other girl werewolves would make fun of me.

He stared at me.

Then I told him I'd rather be a vampire. Vampires are sexier.

He turned away and folded something laundry-like.

I was afraid to even touch on zombies.

A Post with Two Goals: Rick Springfield Will Follow Me!

Ha! Sounds like a football reference, no? It's not. I am not a fan of the sport.

However, I do have two goals here.

First, I want a famous person to follow me on Twitter and I have decided it shall be Rick Springfield. Anyone who knows me knows my feelings about the man. I cannot say I am his biggest fan. I mean, I don't travel to see him. I do have a husband and kids. Someone told me they have to come first and I cannot follow Rick Springfield around in the turbo mini van. I still choose to believe this.

So I make do with seeing him in concert. Making certain I get great seats. Hey, last December at The Hemmens, I almost touched him. Yes. Almost.

So the least he can do is follow me on Twitter. Maybe even Facebook. Seriously, I'm pretty funny. Even if my most-loved tweets and updates get no laughs at all. (I mean, did you guys see the one where I forgot my phone and did updates with paper and pen?! Offered to mail them?! Now that was funny!)

Second, a documentary is being made about Rick Springfield and his fans. Tentatively titled "Affair of the Heart," filming begins in May and continues through 2010. Read all about it here.

I'm assuming the documentary will be about the hardcore fans (i.e, those who follow Rick Springfield around the country) and the softcore fans (i.e., those of us who go to a concert and then go home to the kids; it also kinda sounds like something you'd see on Cinemax). Of course it will also feature Rick Springfield, the best looking 60 year old in the world!

Watch for Rick Springfield concerts in your neck of the woods. Watch for the documentary. Be in the documentary. Listen to a Rick Springfield playlist on your IPod. But, most of all, tell Rick Springfield to follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook (I'm on there as Susie Harkness Kline)!

It's Sunday Afternoon...

the pork chops are in the oven, gardening has been done. I'm sitting in front of the computer reading blogs while chowing down on Meijer Real Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips. I'm a little frightened by that...I mean, are there actually faux semi-sweet chocolate chips?! Why does Meijer feel the need to declare their chocolate chips as "real." Does Tollhouse identify their chocolate chips as "real?" Not that I care enough to even google Tollhouse to see...*

I'm feeling a little sad today. Because I finished the last book in the Dennis Lehane series featuring Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro. I feel like dear friends have moved away and I know I won't be seeing them in a very long time. I'm going to miss them, but it's been oh so much fun knowing them.

I've now read everything Lehane has written except for the last two books and I've loved every one of them. Even if they make me question what is right or wrong and good or bad. He's made me think a lot of about the grey areas of life.

I think you should read something of his. If you're not up to a series, "Mystic River" is quite excellent. So is "Gone Baby Gone." And I'm still thinking about "Shutter Island."

Just read them all. Trust me on this.

*Of course I care! I google everything. By the way, I saw nothing on the Tollhouse website declaring any of their products as "real." Makes me wonder what's going on here. Who has the real chocolate chips?!

Pet Peeve Friday with Giveaway...Big Brothers

Last week's drawing for the Pet Peeve Friday prize of Avon Oatmeal hand cream sample is Cindy Pfannenstiel. Cindy, keep an eye on the mail...

This week's prize is a full-size Avon's Moisture Therapy Skin Bump Minimizer. Tell your friends. All comments to this blog post are entered for the drawing!

Winner to be announced next Friday!

***

OK, back to big brothers. I have four of them and I haven't had them all that long. Believe me when I am say completely in love with all of them and this post is completely tongue in cheek!

But, I am suddenly getting teased. Via Facebook. By my big brothers!

You're supposed to be nice to the baby (I also have three wonderful older sisters). Not pick on her!

It all started earlier this week when I asked my brother Tommy if he was a "teabagger" after he announced that "Republicans suck." Here's how it went from there. I can't even begin to make this up...

PJ #8 before you call someone a teabagger you might want to find out what it means..... LMAO

April 8 at 10:41pm

TJ LOLLOLLOLLOL, P, I was thinking the same thing!!1

April 8 at 10:52pm

TJ I'm still laughing.

April 8 at 10:52pm

TJ That's the bestLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

April 8 at 10:52pm

TJ I think it should be lolrotfpub

April 8 at 10:53pm

TJ P, you piece of shit

April 8 at 10:53pm

TJ lolololololololol

April 8 at 10:53pm

ME ok...am I missing something here. Now I'm thinking "teabagger" means something dirty! Hey, stop picking on the baby!

April 9 at 8:10am

ME I found this site and found out everything I needed to know about teabagging. Including the sexual definition. And there was absolutely, positively no reason I ever needed to know anything about that. At all. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teabagger

April 9 at 8:17am

[At this point I forwarded the link to Jim at work because I had absolutely positively NEVER heard the term "teabagger" used as anything but political identification. He couldn't open it; the company firewall blocked it.]

[Also, imagine my horror at learning a new sexual term at the age of 43. Where have I been? Under a rock? I thought I was hip! Wait, does anyone use "hip" any more?! Maybe we were sheltered in Western Kansas or wherever the hell Hays is located!]

TJ You poor thing, but it is Ps faullt, blame it on him.LOL

April 9 at 10:53am

CL Um...yeah....there are kids on here (like me) who read what the posts say between family members who obviously get curious and um.....yeah... I don't think I will click on another link that is posted! LOL

[CL is my poor scarred niece. I hope she recovers from this!]

Then something else starts today!

It started when I forwarded an article about my twins' track and field prowess last evening. The headline is Kline Eats Up the Competition at Fremd. (The article really is cool and there's an incredible picture of Jeremy mid throw.)

[My boys are big and they could eat you if they wanted to. Just so you know. But they're nice. So they won't.]

KJ I think sister susie's got busted for cannibalism. The story is newspaper and I only had time to read the headline. Keep her in your thoughts its gotta be a rough time - how do you face the neighbors

TJ you are bad!!lol

about an hour ago

ME My kids did not eat any human beings! lol They are getting accolades for Frisbee and cannon ball tossing! sheesh. This is how rumors get started! lol

15 minutes ago

KJ sorry that was not sister got busted but her kids... gotta keep the details straight not to defame the innocent
about an hour ago

KJ kids will probably need help with bail and attorney's. Donate into my paypal account and I'll see they get any help they need with this problem
about an hour ago

Identities have been hidden to avoid public humiliation when word gets out that my brothers tease people.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure any money going into KJ's paypal account will not go to my boys! Don't fall for it. Now, if you'd like to donate to the twins' college fund...